This Drive Now Heading into Reverse
By Peter S. Kahrmann
At long last, my sex drive has become not
only a highly reasonable companion, its become my friend!
But first, before I tell you whats
behind this most lovely of transformations, a few words about aging. Perhaps I
should first say that while Im not speaking for others, Id hazard a
guess that my aging process -- I am 61 -- is by no means light-years different
from the next mans.
Clearly, there are aspects to aging that
are not, w e l l , fun: the changes in body shape, the hints and more than
hints of wrinkles, sagging and so on. However, having said that, aging has, for
me, provided some rather delightful surprises, such as a deeply felt
appreciation for the knowledge Ive accumulated over the years. Some of it
is admittedly of no great import, such as the fact that Helen Hayes began
acting to manage her stuttering. Nevertheless, knowledge, Ive come to
realize, is, more than power, a gift to be treasured -- and grown.
Needless to say, aging brings an increased
awareness that this life experience does not go on forever. Directly linked to
this truth is my increased appreciation and love for the smaller moments: the
sound of crows shouting hello to each other in the morning; chickadees on the
birdfeeder in the morning, feasting on sunflower seeds; the sound of the
neighbors children laughing in their back yard -- and for me, of course,
the gloriously peaceful early morning hours, and the days first coffee. I
am an early riser. After walking my dog, Charley, Im at my writing table
by 4 a.m.
Aging has another downside. It has
confirmed what many men have feared: From puberty on, the nether regions will
become problematic. Never did I think Id grow to despise the walnut-size
male-only prostate gland with such vehemence. This little being creates the
fluid that carries the sperm. Apparently, it takes the aging process as a
personal insult. At least in my case, it likes to get itself all puffed up and
inflamed with indignation, as if aging were a process I, personally, inflicted
Unless you go to the doctor like
youre supposed to, this little creep will have you racing to the bathroom
so frequently that you begin to wonder if the bathroom is a room you should
Back to my now user-friendly sex drive.
From puberty until not so long ago, my sex drive was an overbearing, rude,
distracting, disrespectful, intrusive, dictatorial, unruly, blaring, glaring,
loud, self-absorbed, attention-whore of a companion. Trust me, this is not an
Recently, however, it has grown up,
matured, developed manners -- become, shall we say, reasonable in its demands.
No longer do I run the risk of wrenching my neck when a kneebuckler (my word
for a breathtakingly beautiful woman) walks by. I glance, smile and return to
my thoughts. At long last, my sex drives got class!
Now, there may be some truth to the
notion that aging brings wisdom and insight. That may be true sometimes, but
not always. Trust me. Not long ago, I was in my local YMCA one morning getting
dressed after a workout. A man in his late seventies was off to my left getting
ready for his morning workout. As I bent over to pick my towel up off the
floor, I quipped, Is it me or does the floor get farther away as you get
He laughed. Other way around, kid.
Floors getting closer cause youre getting shorter.
Clearly, I still have a lot to learn.
Peter S. Kahrmann is a writer and an advocate for
people with disabilities